| This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
|
| Contest |
[Wednesday
October 1st, 2008; 10:50pm] |
I know it's been like a year since I posted on this but...
EVERYONE GO SEE CHOKE THIS WEEKEND.
Besides it being a great movie, I'm doing this for a contest. So after you've seen the movie take a picture with your camera phone of yourself holding the ticket stub and send it to me. Thanks
|
|
|
| Long time no post.... |
[Tuesday
March 25th, 2008; 9:52pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
August Rhapsody |
] |
Am I as pathetic as I feel?
It is truly amazing how you can never know how stressed or angry or depressed you are until someone else points it out for you. And not even a close friend points it out, but an old one. Someone you would never thought would even care about you like that.
I feel so hurt for some reason. I've been trying to tell myself that I'm overreacting, that its all in my head, that these things just happen when you grow up, but at the same time I can't help but feel hurt by it.
This probably doesn't make any sense. And no one will read this anyway. But I feel like I need to express my feelings somehow. because the truth is that I feel so alone, which may sound stupid but I miss my friends, my old friends, my close friends. I feel so separated from some of them, like I can't even talk to them anymore because they don't like me or think I'm annoying or whatever.
This may not seem like a big deal, but I guess when you role this emptiness together with stress I didn't even know I had from school and the prospect of college I can become something bigger.
Yeah I may be overreacting or over dramatizing it but I'm just in a really bad funk, and have been for a couple of weeks now. I just want to get out and feel happy again.
So there you go.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
December 4th, 2007; 6:39pm] |
1st chair Bass Clarinet All county
I am very surprised and happy to say that I am the Best bass clarinetist in the county
|
|
|
| Sweet Relief |
[Wednesday
November 28th, 2007; 3:57pm] |
I got accepted to Florida State University!!!!
I am going to college. Me, The person that has struggled their entire high school career. I am so happy I can not even express it. Some people might not think its a big deal, but for me it is. I am done with SAT's worrying about my grades and college applications, and it feels so good.
|
|
|
| It's almost over.... |
[Thursday
November 15th, 2007; 10:03pm] |
It strange to think that something you have done for 4 years will be over in 2 days. I still can't rap my head around it. It still feels like we still have practice next week, or I still have another year of doing this. this season went by way to fast for my taste. I have to say I am glad I'm ending with this show.
Well I guess this is goodbye to something that has become a lifestyle for me. So goodbye old friend.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
July 16th, 2007; 1:30pm] |
|
I wish I was smarter
|
|
|
| College Board poop |
[Saturday
July 14th, 2007; 3:30pm] |
|
Am I the only person who didn't get their AP scores?
|
|
|
| The ocean is the future |
[Monday
July 2nd, 2007; 5:16pm] |
|
My razor finally broke (thank god) so I have a new phone and a new phone number. Don't call my old phone ever again.
New number: 954 729-8934
I lost all of my numbers so if you could leave your cell phone number that would be awesome
|
|
|
| Goodbye |
[Wednesday
May 23rd, 2007; 10:16pm] |
|
Dear Seniors,
I don't know what to say. I'm going to miss all of you so much next year. I can't even express how much you've all changed my life and have been such a big influence. I really don't know what I'm going to do without you next year. It really hit me today sitting at lunch, it felt alone, and empty, same at band. I almost feel like all my friends left. you all have made such a big impact on my life, and I love you guys for that. I want to say good luck in college and it will never be the same without you. Thank you for all you've done for me. I love you guys.
Goodbye
|
|
|
| Just my luck |
[Friday
May 4th, 2007; 11:38pm] |
|
My car died. Its sitting in the movie theater parking lot right now. I don't think its going to come back to life this time.
|
|
|
| =) |
[Tuesday
April 24th, 2007; 10:49pm] |
|
Its kinda funny, when you first notice that one friend that you've known for years as something more.
I'm so happy now.
Can't wait till the 7th
|
|
|
| Bird poop sucks |
[Tuesday
March 6th, 2007; 8:34pm] |
So I've decided
Life hates me, so I'm gonna hate it right back
|
|
|
| Crying till your tear ducts are empty |
[Monday
March 5th, 2007; 12:52pm] |
I can never get a break
You work so hard, to get that one thing, that one thing you believe you deserve above all else. Something you've worked a year on. Something you had nervous breakdowns because of it. Something you know you got, that people tell you you got, but then you don't get it. You try and prove to people, you don't. Try to prove to people hard work can pay off, but it doesn't. Trying to impress the one person that matters, only to have it shoved back in your face.
I feel like I can't face anyone right now. I let myself down so bad this time, that I can't even look at myself in the mirror. That's all my life is, one big let down. I don't think I've ever cried this much, or cried in school like that. People are gonna tell me I'm stupid, that its not the end of the world, but for me it is. I could taste it and then It was ripped away. Thank you Nick V for being there for me today.
Fuck life
Fuck people
Fuck school
and Fuck band
|
|
|
|
[Friday
February 16th, 2007; 6:36pm] |
|
I am finally street legal
|
|
|
| You Can Only Blame Yourself, It's What I Say |
[Tuesday
January 30th, 2007; 11:59pm] |
My life is way to hectic at the moment.
I feel like I don't even have the spare time to breath
The only thing that seems to calm me down lately is shouting Brand New lyrics at my computer as it plays the song back to me.
I never realized how much band would stress me out when I joined in 9th grade. Feeling like I'm the only person in class struggling to keep up. Practicing hours a day just to be a little good. I just wish I could have the talent that everyone else in the class has. It took rusnak 3 years to learn my name, and sorta give me a compliment. 3 years. I don't want to disappoint rusnak if he asks for scales tomorrow. If i disappoint him, I'll disappoint myself. I've been working myself to the bring of insanity for months just to have a chance at band captain. I can't mess this up. I don't know how much more I can push my self until I fall over the edge.
I hate feeling like I suck at everything I do. I hate I always have to struggle at everything. I hate how I never get a break. I hate always being stressed out. I hate feeling like I'm disappointing myself.
Whatever, Its not like anyone's gonna read this anyway.
|
|
|
| Please.... |
[Tuesday
January 16th, 2007; 11:03pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The devil and god are rageing inside me |
] |
Please....
This is all that I've worked for...
|
|
|
| Help |
[Wednesday
January 10th, 2007; 9:37pm] |
|
Someone help me out of this sinking ship. It's going down to the bottom of the sea and there isn't anything i can do to stop it.
|
|
|
| Crap |
[Monday
January 8th, 2007; 9:38pm] |
|
The Stress of the upcoming month is starting to sink in
|
|
|
| Whats under the Christmas tree? |
[Tuesday
December 26th, 2006; 1:30am] |
|
Happy Christmas (yes I am British)
Christmas was okay, kinda expected everything i got and i hate that but it's all cool stuff.
So I'll be gone for the next couple days and probably completely out of contact. :(
My cell phone doesn't work outside florida so don't call it.
I'll try and get to a computer if i can. see everyone in a few days
P.S. That myspace that was made for me won't let me log on so I guess that's the end of that :)
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cheese_ball's journal